Mis Sueños

Scavenger Hunt…2

so first off, what are my strengths?

i feel like i possess many varied qualities, but i don’t know if any of them are realy Strengths. it’s one of the things i both really like and really hate about myself. i never feel confined to acting one way or am able to descibe myself as a “insert adjective here” person. im not a ‘type’ or something i can describe in a few words…i like that because i love being an individual. however, sometimes i feel like like would be so much easier if i could describe myself by a few words or have the one defining characterstic. like college essays and things ask “give 3 words that define you and explain why.” these are so hard for me becasue i dont like defining myself…i like being able to change my mind and not feel committed to the words.

i think the Strengths i need include Courage, Discernment, Patience, Perserverance, and Strength.

Courage- even though i admit to myself that i want to be unique, sometimes it’s hard to express that openly… also, im scared of a lot of things. not like spiders or anything, but mostly untangible stuff like the future and expectations and purpose…pretty much the unknown. i hope to develop the courage to challenge these fears head-on and walk into the unknown…i heard from somewhere that courage cannot exist without fear…random kind of but relevent0ish

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Tired cannot even begin to describe…3

so, ever since coming back from winter break really, i have been exhausted. all the time. there is so much going on and a literally feel like my brain wont be able to take it anymore and just fizzle out and become a vegetable. and here is why.

1. i take the sat in a week, and i am grossly unprepared. its my fault for not taking a class or studying or anything, but it just feels stupid to learn how to take a test and i just cant do it, even though i know its important.

2. my parents are all over me about #1. college, grades, gpa, sat, life plan…it never goes away.

3. ap chemistry. enough said.

4. homework and projects need to go die. i have been up so late for consistant weeks doing homework and it is not fun. (i define late as being able to see the date change)

5. comparative government. worst class ever. do not take it.

6. yearbook. i love working on the yearbook, its just that it is so much more stressful this year with the spring distribution…you guys better like it.

7.  friends. i love my friends. and i love blowing off anything “important” on the weekends and just getting out of my house. however, staying up late and having high energy days after a long week of no sleep, while fun, are slightly less-than-helpful. but i need those outings for my sanity (which is close to gone)

8. i know it all wont end for a very long time…

9. summer wont even be a real break because of college applications and working a 9-5 job i hate will be awaiting me…groan

10. some things that are good: i will have 2 breaks and no science classes next year, my friends are awesome, i am so glad i have a car, failblog.org and bumpersticker can always give me a laugh, i am not failing any classes…yet

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JESSE MCCARTNEY!!!0

so i just got back from the jesse mccartney concert and it was amazing! he is really good live and he actually sounds like how he does on the radio…its really quite incredible. needless to say he is gorgeous! he brought up a girl and started singing a song to her (major jealousy!)

it was kind of funny to see all the tweens there…but there were also some older girls…and a few kreeper old men…and the guys that got dragged there by their girlfriends (hahaha)

i kind of hate the camera on my phone because it doesnt zoom so i got no good pictures because i forgot/dont have my own camera…im going to have to rely on my friends, who some friggin amazing close-ups

oh and he is re-releasing his album april 7th (i think thats the date…its in april) with two new songs and he sang one of them for the encoure (sp?) “body language”…its a good un…

i <3 Jesse

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My Family Doesn’t Match…3

random rambling time…cuz nothing says time to ramble like “oh crap i forgot i have to write a post and its 10 pm and i still have a lab report to do!” so here it goes…

1. AP chem is the bane of my existence…and AP Calc

2. i just made some incredibly awesome brownies for my brother’s bday…i put peanut butter chips in them in addition to the chocolate chunks…extra rich and delicious, but i decided i prefer the straight up chocalate chunks

3. i suck at typing…that was one thing they never really followed through with at my elementary school (Go St. Monica!) they didnt really start trying to teach us to type until like 6th grade after we had already developed sucky habits..and the program they used (Mavis Beacon) was a joke because they displayed the keyboard on the screen so all you had to do was follow the typing hands…i helicopter type and i cant look at the screen and type at the same time, which is really annoying sometimes cuz ill look up and there are about a billion typos i have to go and correct…i just looked up and turns out i didnt fail too bad…im getting better about catching the errors as i make them…

4. i cuold not understand the preist today at mass…and i felt really badly about it…he’s not our normal preist and he’s from kenya, so he had an accent..i tried really hard to pay attention and decipher…i got most of the gospel, but only about half the homily…he was really long-winded too, which didnt really help…my brother sitting next to me (the one that just turned 15) was a “nodder” (yay cars!) and i kept on having to poke him…i aactually started laughing because a) i couldnt understand the preist b) the preist was talking for a really long time c) he was a very animated and loud speaker, like he was trying really hard to convince or tell us this message, but see a. d) my brother was falling asleep e) the rest of the congregation didnt look to alert either….i felt really bad

5. my dog got groomed today…she’s a miniature snauzcher (spelling i have no clue) and her name is Bailey…its really funny when her hair gets too long, cuz she cant see and she’s shaggy all over…but now she’s all cute and brushed and fluffed and most importantly, she can see

6. i love driving…and i love my car

7. i hate that i have to wait for my brother to be done with weight lifting before i can go home..i have other things i can do and im mobile, but most days i really just want to go home

8. i have no idea how many comments ive posted this week, so im going to have to do 3 to cover all my bases…groan…not that o dont like reading the blog, i just have so much other stuff to do…see #1

9. when im typing or texting, im a really big fan of the “dot dot dot”…if you havent noticed…i dont like periods cuz mostly im just continuing a thought anyway, and commas just arent easily handy when texting…well, i have a full keyboard so i guess it is, i judt dont like to do it…too much effort

10. this is getting really long and bless you if youve read it all

11. i probably need to explain the title…so i was at church one night and a friend who attends bjps was there, but she hadnt seen my family before… the next day at school she literally told me “youre family doesnt match…i was extra confused” okay so…you guys know what i look like…my mom is short and has dark brown curly hair and brown eyes…my dad is tall and has light brown hair and blue-gray eyes and glasses…my 15 year old brother is taller than me but has longish dark brown hair brown eyes and glasses (he looks mexzican, which we are, but he’s the only one that looks it)..and the final weird puzzle piece, my youngest brother…he had blond curly hair and bright blue eyes…yea…we dont look like we are related at all. im the mix, so you can see the relation to me and each person in my family, but everyone else definitely doesnt match…my mom had to carry a family picture around with her when my youngest brother was little cuz whenever he would start crying in a toy store because my mom wouldnt buy whatever for him, people started looking at her like they thought she was stealing him…yea its kind of funny…

so yea, i just accussed the preist of being long-winded and here i am…lol…thats basically my mind right now…craziness!

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I <3 Kristen6

my post is not all about kristen although she is an awesome person…but i love reading her blog…and it makes me have a strong desire to play the island game. and it is just so gosh-darn interesting! and i love “the problem with…” theme 

so on a similar note…i have become a blog reader. now that people are posting regularly, im really interested in what people are writing about, and most of it is really entertaining…i laugh, i ponder, i comment, and occasionally im puzzled (lol). my problem, however, is writing posts of my own. i love looking at what everyone else has to say in cyber-world that i end up browsing blogroll for literally an hour and a half without writing anything of my own, which is what i originally planned to do. so…instead i title a post with an idea i have and then say i’ll write it the next time im on…but then i get on blogroll and it starts all over again…

so…back to kristen…she made me realize the other day when asking me to do model un (she actually told me i was doing it rather than asking,) that i am afraid of commitment. i hadnt realized how true it was. i write down all my ideas for blogs but never write them. i always say “im going to do such-and-such” but i always put it off. but writing sown ideas is a step ahead of what i normally do…just think about it and forget it later. i realize this also sounds like procrastination, but the procrastinator in me just enables the non-commitment. college decisions are going to be a rough time, i can feel it… (i havent signed up for the SAT and my mom kind of planned the college road trip that i she asked me to plan…i was really excited at the time, but…) 

so thank you to kristen for helping me realize it…the first step is admitting you have a problem… i also love your tell-it-like-it-is go-get-em attitude..it compliments my persona…and spanish and comp gov and eng and calc (BOO!!!) would be terrible without you… (and we still need to play the island game…)

everybody read kristens blog! it’s amazing! 

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The Office3

so i just watched this weeks episode of the office (i love dvr) and i must say this is my favorite show right now. it is just so hilarious and you gotta love the characters (Jim!) and plot lines. tonight featured an entertaining office debate on the hottness of Hilary Swank and we learn Micheal Scott has a heart. i felt so bad for him, and i wanted to pound dwights head into a wall…seriously the guy has no compassion (Angela what were you thinking?!)

so…love the show it is amazing and anyone who doesnt watch it should.

also, chances are, i fyou like the office you will like a show called ”big bang theory.” i have probably mentioned it before, but here it is again, this show is sooo funny. my second fave i have no idea when it is on (the problem with dvr…) or what channel but it is on the same night as how i met your mother (starting to annoy me..can we meet the mom already?!) and two and a half men if that helps…everybody needs to watch it…

peace, love and lots of laughs!

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tell me something i dont know…1

so i just watched the abc family movie “another cinderella story”…waste of my life. first of all selena gomez is like 14 and they have her playing a senior in high school. second the whole cinderella thing in modern times is being taken way too literally by hollywood. third, i expect a little corny, but this was way too much. and fourth, i at least expected the dncing to be good or interesting and it really wasnt. Remember when abc family movies used to be good??…i miss those days.

ranting…done

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Love1

amour, liebe, 사랑, 愛, amore, αγάπη, amor

(thank you babel fish )

love tends to be a big part of our lives. it has so many different usages and levels of significance, that a discussion on love could be never-ending because love itself is never-ending. So i decided to give a tribute to love by finding some quotes using fabulous google…of you feel so compelled, leave a comment on what love means to you or how you would define love or a quote of your own and we could get an excellent discussion going

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13 

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” ~Helen Keller

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” ~Robert A. Heinlein

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in return. ~Natalie Cole

Love is like war, easy to begin but hard to end. ~anonymous

Life without love is like a tree
Without blossom and fruit.
~ by Khalil Gibra ~

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world ~anonymous

How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? ~Albert Einstein (since i am taking chemistry adn pysics right now i find this incredibly entertaining)

“Before..my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were starts-points of light and reason…And then you shot across my life like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was briliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. i couldn’t see the stars anymore. and there was no reason for anything” ~ Stephenie Meyers, as spoken by Edward in New Moon (this is where the obsession for Edward Cullen comes from…)

Love warms the heart and sets the soul aflame (i dont know if this is the whole quote…i tried to find it, but no luck. if you know it or know who said it, leave it in a comment and you will make my day!)

The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of. ~Blaise Pascal

 so yea, i think i may add more later, but right now my fingers are about to freeze off because my house is freezing because our furnance broke (perfect timing right?). it’s fixed now, but not comepletly warm yet.

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The Call1

I do feel to do something. I’m not really sure what “greater” is supposed to mean in this context, but i am going to take it to mean going on the hero journey. i dont know if “greater” is something i really want to go for…the hero journey kind of freaks me out. lol. but, the thing you’re most afraid of are usually the most worthwhile, right? (chasing liberty…love that movie) i know i’m not ready to take it now, but i feel pretty sure i know when that time might be…the feelings i have about the hero journey are very similar to those i have about college: terrified. i know it is something i want to do, but finding a way to get there and what to do if i get are both huge, looming question marks.

i used to know. a lot. i felt confident in who i was, what i wanted to be, how i was going to get there, my place in the world. but that was childhood. everything was so simple and uncomplicated. once i got to high school (and ms haffley’s english class) i started to..explore. i thought about a lot of different things, formed new opinions, met new people, and i started to change. i realized so many things about myself and i started breaking down the “why”s of my actions. i realize there is a mold i am trying to fit or one that others want me to fit. it is a nice little mold, i don’t want to break it necessarily, i just want to make a new mold for myself. problem is, i’ve never been very creative.

i feel that i am a hero in the making. my gut feeling is telling me that my journey is really about becomming and realizing myself; and if i do that i will end up helping and changing people by just being myself. for me, being called is having that feeling or longing to achieve or want something more. accepting the call is going out there and doing something about it. doing something has always been the hard part for me. when it comes to little things like projects, errands, etc. i see what needs to be done and i do it, or i at least make sure it gets done. but for big things, i am just so afraid to fail. that’s why i didnt pop my balloon. thats why i haven’t accepted my call. because once i leave my world as it exists now, i know i will never be able to return to it in the same way; and i kind of like it.

it’s like i am in a sealed room except for one window. it’s the only way out. right now i am content with just having the window open, look outside, and dreaming (and thinking). i don’t feel the need to climb out. yet.

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Happy Thoughts…7

so i just looked at my blog and realized my last post was about my epic fail in physics. it depressed me because most of the time i try to be positive and optimistic…like with the chem quiz i’m about to take but i decided to make a list of things that make me happy…to fill my head with happy thoughts

1. puppies-who isnt happy when they see a puppy?! theyre just so gosh darn cute!

2. babies-pretty much the same as puppies…except theyre like mini-people!

3. The Office-most hilarious show ever! i love it and i encourage everyone to watch it

4. when your favorite song comes on the radio…or just a song you really like

5. when TNT or USA or TBS or whatever has an all-day movie marathon…and I love all of them!

6. when i am actually  able  to watch said movie marathon without interruption 

7. getting a good grade on anything AP chem. it is the one class where i feel so accomplished everytime i do something right…or not horribly wrong

8. snow-i am so looking foward to winter…

9. Christmas time-nearly everyone is so much nicer around the holidays…and happier!

10. not having homework…nuff said

11. laughing incredibly hard, most of the time at something really stupid…

12. having someone else think the same stupid thing is hilarious.

13. being able to listen to my iPod and write about all the things that make me happy in zero hour…

14. when zero hour gets cancelled…

15. the gorgeous purse my aunt got me for my birthday

16. my dad-most of the time he is incredibly entertaining…

17. emily francisco

18. when clothes are comfy AND cute…a rarity

19. aron theising (hon chem buddies!!)

20. spelling people’s names correctly on the first try…   

21. when someone gives me all their extra fries… 

22. when my parents actually pick me up at the time i asked them to…( i kinda got in an accident on election day, so im kinda grounded from driving by myself for a while)

23. music…

24. smelling something really good…

25. when tests get posponed…

26. religion class…aka mr daly and his laugh

27. having my dad and brother concede the radio…

28. …and listening to Taylor Swift!!

29. Day 2′s…

30. The Big Bang Theory…this show is hillarious! i encourage everyone to watch it.

31. having other people be happy with me

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